How to Determine Whether or Not You Are in a Healthy Relationship:

Your current relationship is healthy if:

  • You have more good times in the relationship than you have bad times.
  • You have a life with your significant other but still manage to have time for friends.
  • Decisions in the relationship are shared and you both compromise.
  • You can have difficult conversations without getting angry every time.
  • You can talk through conflict.
  • You feel like yourself around your significant other and readily share your hopes and dreams.
  • You spend time relaxing with each other on a regular basis.

If you can relate to most of the list, you are likely in a healthy relationship.  If you can’t you need to consider learning what makes a relationship unhealthy. Our own family backgrounds can greatly affect the way we view relationships. 

Here are some signs that you may have been exposed to unhealthy relationships.

  • You experienced a difficult or harmful home environment as you were growing up
  • When you were a child, your parents fought on a regular basis
  • There was unhealthy physical contact with family members
  • You were emotionally hurt (put down or humiliated) by family members

If any of the descriptions above describe you, you may want to ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do you grab or physically strike loved ones when you get angry or frustrated?
  • Do loved ones complain that you are hurting them?
  • Do you grab loved ones so hard that they are bruised afterwards?
  • Do you kick or strike pets?
  • When you are upset do you throw objects at loved ones?
  • Do you pressure your partner to accept forceful or violent acts during sex?

Verbal Signs:

  • Do you raise your voice in anger on a regular basis when talking to loved ones?
  • Do you seek out arguments with loved ones?
  • Do you publicly embarrass or humiliate loved ones?
  • Have you made threats to harm loved ones?

Behavioral Signs:

  • Do you get jealous about your partner’s friends?
  • Do you monitor or have to know the location of your partner at all times?
  • Do you expect others to act like your parents expected you to act?
  • Could you be described as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?

Attitude Signs:

  • Do you have to control what loved ones say, wear, and/or eat?
  • Do you have expectations that no one can reach?
  • Do you blame others for your problems?
  • Do you have to control how loved ones spend money?

Other Signs:

  • Do you abuse alcohol and/or drugs?
  • Do you spend hours viewing pornography?
  • Do you spend hours viewing social media at the expense of time with your family?