SAY NO NOW
How to Determine Whether or Not You Are in a Healthy Relationship:
Your current relationship is healthy if:
- You have more good times in the relationship than you have bad times.
- You have a life with your significant other but still manage to have time for friends.
- Decisions in the relationship are shared and you both compromise.
- You can have difficult conversations without getting angry every time.
- You can talk through conflict.
- You feel like yourself around your significant other and readily share your hopes and dreams.
- You spend time relaxing with each other on a regular basis.
If you can relate to most of the list, you are likely in a healthy relationship. If you can’t you need to consider learning what makes a relationship unhealthy. Our own family backgrounds can greatly affect the way we view relationships.
Here are some signs that you may have been exposed to unhealthy relationships.
- You experienced a difficult or harmful home environment as you were growing up
- When you were a child, your parents fought on a regular basis
- There was unhealthy physical contact with family members
- You were emotionally hurt (put down or humiliated) by family members
If any of the descriptions above describe you, you may want to ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you grab or physically strike loved ones when you get angry or frustrated?
- Do loved ones complain that you are hurting them?
- Do you grab loved ones so hard that they are bruised afterwards?
- Do you kick or strike pets?
- When you are upset do you throw objects at loved ones?
- Do you pressure your partner to accept forceful or violent acts during sex?
- Do you raise your voice in anger on a regular basis when talking to loved ones?
- Do you seek out arguments with loved ones?
- Do you publicly embarrass or humiliate loved ones?
- Have you made threats to harm loved ones?
- Do you get jealous about your partner’s friends?
- Do you monitor or have to know the location of your partner at all times?
- Do you expect others to act like your parents expected you to act?
- Could you be described as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?
- Do you have to control what loved ones say, wear, and/or eat?
- Do you have expectations that no one can reach?
- Do you blame others for your problems?
- Do you have to control how loved ones spend money?
- Do you abuse alcohol and/or drugs?
- Do you spend hours viewing pornography?
- Do you spend hours viewing social media at the expense of time with your family?